I hadn’t acknowledged some facts about myself until the recent arrival of my teen cousin** Hannah to Melbourne, being 19 years old and moving countries to her seems like “just whatever” but to me (who did the same at 25) it seems so huge and unknown.
I have had to take a long hard look at myself. We went out to a comedy show (Anne Edmonds, brilliant! Check her out). A very casual affair but Hannah went through some serious motions of working out what to wear, how to have her hair and make up, which culminated in her telling me “I don’t want to look 30!” Neither do I Hannah, neither do I!
I started calculating my coolness and young points up; I smoke ciggies. That makes me young right? No that makes me “gross”. I rent and live in a share house just like I’m at university, which apparently is “sad” because I should have my own house and “kids”. I don’t watch the news while I cook dinner, I sleep in and I definitely don’t do weekly grocery shops! Clutching at straws.
On our night out some selfies were taken with a “good filter” which made Hannah look good, but me just look as red as the two glasses of wine I had drunk.
Hannah bought over two huge suitcases and some other bags, which I thought was totally normal as she had her whole life with her, but it turns out she only had half her wardrobe. I came up with a storage solution, putting our tent up out the back to house half her wardrobe.
Turns out Hannah loves the tent and is using it as a bedroom which makes me feel guilty, but all kinds of persuasion cant get her back in the house.
“I’m going to my room” – The tent.
“I will just chuck my stuff in my room” – The tent.
“I need some time alone in my room” – The tent.
Last night she heard photos being taken of the zipped up tent (while she was in it). “Ummmmm are you taking photo’s of me?” – Yes Hannah if you are a tent, I am taking your photo?!
I’m now calling her the back yard tenant, and will be chasing her for her tent rent as soon as shes gainfully employed.
Until then, I will keep pretending I’m hip and young and Hannah and I are roughly*** the same age.
**We are actually not related but her Mum is my ‘god mother’ and my Mum is her ‘god mother’, so we are ‘god sisters’, but that’s not a thing!
***By roughly, I mean I am 10 years older.