Office Birthday Morning Tea

Email from annoying colleague who organizes every social event in the work calendar:

Hi Everyone!

Hope your having a great day, as you all know Friday is Cath’s birthday. She’s turning 43 (But don’t mention that because I got that off her HR record) So I will be coming around to collect $5-$10 from everybody (depending on how much you can afford) to get Cath a gift.

Cath is into: Going to the shooting range so I also plan to drive to her preferred shooting range and get her a voucher.

BYO morning tea, but please check the required food registry at my desk and tick off what you plan to bring before COB Wednesday.

Cheers Team!


She needs to head off to her dream career as an event coordinator for children’s parties!

I select ‘home made cake’ but bring a packet of chips from the petrol station every time!

It gets to Friday – Cath calls in sick but the party still forges on.

Which office birthday type are you?

  1. The desperately wants it woman – This lady tells you at the start of the year her birthday is coming up (end of May). Makes a lot of noise about “not wanting a fuss this year”. Acts surprised and tears up on the day because she is so grateful to her “second family”
  2. The never puts in but still expects a doo bloke – This guy eats all the party food and never pays a cent or brings a plate but on his birthday he expectantly takes his gifts and dominates the food unaware that hes the talk of the office for his stingy ways.
  3. The takes leave or calls in sick lady – Office Birthdays are unwanted and shes not dumb enough to think that it wont happen even if she explicitly asks Cindy-May not to.
  4. The forgotten guy – His Birthday was last week but Cindy-May might have been on leave or she just outright forgot which means everybody outright forgot and he spent the day waiting for his surprise that never came! But don’t worry, Cindy-May realises a fortnight later and everybody is sure to celebrate then.

I think companies that give their staff their birthday off work have got it right!